Is Your Life Really that Bad? Probably not.

Not to brag or anything but I have been blessed to be around the most positive and influential people ever and I feel like it would be selfish not to share the inspiration. The older I get the more I surround myself with people who have something to give whether it is advice, experiences, or just their presence and I feel honored to be able to call these people my friends.

Recently I sat down with a friend who I met through work and we just clicked. She has got to be one of the most amazing, goal orientated, kind-hearted, influential person I know thus far. Her life inspires me in every way. Although we come from two different walks of life, we share a lot in common. Over coffee at Starbucks (which became our way to catch up) we exchanged what life has been dishing out to us. I recently learned that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer and boy I have to say, SHE’S KICKING ASS! Such unfortunate news has completely uplifted her life for the better. Most of you may think how is that even possible?! But if you knew my friend and the fulfilling life she has always lived, then you’d understand.

She explains to me that life is what you make it. We all have the option of dwelling over things we simply cannot change or we can tackle it, kick its ass, and embrace it. She chose to tackle it and not allow it to define who she is or what she can do in life. She does not look at it as a road block but more so a minor detour in her life. Her smile lit up Starbucks y’all and I could not have been more inspired.

See it doesn’t matter what life throws your way, but how you chose to handle it. Sometimes it can be hard to dissect certain situations but it will be okay. It will always be okay in the end. Quite honestly, if you don’t make it okay then it won’t be okay. Every decision in your life you determine the outcome. You wouldn’t believe how every decision can change your life. Well maybe you knew that but the question is are you living by that? 

Your life is not that bad and I can promise that. Think about whatever it is you are going through and ask yourself these simple questions.

Could it be worst and is it?

What can you do today to change that frown into a smile and keep it moving?

Are you surrounded by positive people? 

What do you have to look forward to? 

What can you learn from your situation?

These are the questions I ask myself all the time these days to keep myself grounded and to remind myself that life isn’t that bad. If you don’t like the answer to one of the questions you answered above, simply change it.

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It’s All about the Apps Girl

Apps! Apps! Apps! Today apps are essential because our smartphones wouldn’t be any fun without ’em. I made it my job to have the coolest and most convenient apps on my phone at all times and girlfriend you should too. I decided to share my go to apps that every badass female should keep handy.

Bloglovin’

Don’t be surprised that this made number one on the list. Blogging is life and lets be honest even if writing blogs isn’t your thing, reading them is super fun. Bloglovin’ is a tool designed to help you keep up and follow all of your favorite blogs at all times. This app saves you time from having to google search all o

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f your favorite blogs one by one and allows you to save your favorite blog posts in your “favorites” folder. This app is totally free and accessible from your desktop as well. Savvy!

Bustle

This app is like a on the go magazine designed like instagram. You can customize your feed by choosing the topics you want to stay up to date on. This app has multiple writers who write different posts on different things going on around the world, advice, life hacks, food, entertainment, etc. Never a dull moment with this app. For bloggers this app works as a great inspiration tool as well. Free and comes with alerts so you never miss a post.

Bill Tracker

This app keeps you ahead of your bills and sends constant reminders the minute a bill is past due. Great app for living on your own for the simple fact that it organizes  your bills, allows you to see how much you are spending in bills each month, allows you to add notes to each bill, and features a calendar for the visual people. My favorite feature on this app is that even when a bill has been marked paid, you can still view it months later or anytime for reference. Free!

Shazam

If you aren’t familiar with Shazam you are missing out. Have you ever been out with friends or listening to the radio and did not hear the name of the song and you love the song playing? Well Shazam allows you to never miss out on another song that you like. In seconds, near or far it tells you who the artist is and the title of the song. The best part is that it saves it for you so you can reference later and tells you where to purchase. Playlist cheatsheet? Totally free.

Eventbrite

This app is about upcoming events in your area or anywhere you are at the moment. If you are in the mood for a good jazz club or comedy show, simply type that in the search box and whaaaalaaaa….EVENTS! If you are in charge of planning a GNO, refer to Eventbrite for help. Even if you just want to get out more during the summer and want some new, fun, and exciting then this app can give you awesome ideas. I love that you can view events weeks from today and that it tells you the price along with all of the necessary details. The planners and organizers must definitely have this Free app.

Qapital

Yes, Qapital with a “Q”. This app is by far one of my favorites because it is necessary. It’s all about helping you save money for whatever you have planned. Whether you are planning a family vacation, a “baecation”, Girls getaway trip,apps2 or just building a savings, Qapital makes sure you have the funds possible to do so. What sets this app apart from average saving apps is that this links directly to your bank account and has strict rules to abide by. These rules can vary between rounding up every purchase you make or setting a budget for certain stores. This app is free and provides you extra funds. WHATS NOT TO LOVE?!

Use my code to get $5 into your bank account when you sign up Click here

Credit Wise

By Capital One is a free app that allows you to check your credit score without penalty. Once you are signed in you can opt for instant alert the moment your score changes. This  app tells you the factors that either lower or raises your credit score, as well as explaining what every little detail means. Great app for anyone especially those of you who are finally adulting.

Apps, you gotta love ’em! Of course every phone has the standard fb, ig, twitter, etc apps, but these few additional apps are useful and resourceful. Check them out.

I would love to know what apps you use that the world should know about!

 

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Adulting

Okay here are the facts! Adulting is far from glamorous. Being a teen, adult life seems perfect. Freedom to do literally anything your heart desires. Looking back at my teen years, I honestly thought adult life was easy and just so convenient. As a teen and even now, I love the idea of things just being so convenient. My last years in high school I honestly did not take the whole “growing up” thing too seriously. Now let me just say I was pretty mature for my age so by “growing up” I am referring to my career path. I just could not wrap my head around what I wanted to do after high school. Lets be for real here, I just wanted to graduate! Literally all of my focus was on getting the heck out of high school much less thinking about college and my future career. Now going back to the topic of “adults”, I associated that with no more school and dumb rules that made no sense. I pictured my life after high school as exciting and I was ready to enjoy what my adulthood years would bring me.

WRONG! After graduating high school shit got real. Being an adult comes with more responsibilities than the teenage mind can fathom. I’m sure everyone can relate when I say “credit and money” rules everything. High school does not teach you the importance of having good credit, or how “getting paid” does not mean you instantly have all the things you desire. High school does not tell you that every decision made from there on out counts. Reading this you might say to yourself that you knew majority of that but did you really? I thought the same thing also. Like it was just common sense that responsibility came with adulthood. However no one truly understands the extent and how cruel the real world can be. Life does not have a principals office to go and bitch about your teacher or having your parents bail you out of detention. The things I’ve learned in my young adult years so far are so valuable I figured it would be selfish not to share it.

LETS TALK CREDIT

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That word ruined my life at the age 18 and if I could, I would be a spokes person about credit. Credit is sooooo important that I literally cannot stress that enough. Credit determines the life you will live. If you have good credit, anything you want is possible to have. That car or fancy apartment you want will be so easy to get because your good credit vouched for you. Credit is important because lets be honest, when life gets tough credit loans you a hand. Having bad credit means you cannot and will not have financial freedom. Simple things such as renting a car for your birthday trip will not and cannot happen without the help of a parent (so much for being an “adult”) or someone cosigning for you. Good luck with finding a cosigner by the way. Then there is having “no credit” which is impossible to build at first. Having no credit is the part that teens run into which is also the part of adulthood that baffles me. How do people expect you to build credit if no one gives you the chance to develop such thing? (something high school should teach) So if you’re reading this and you are in high school take notes.

  1. Start by saving. Saving teaches you how to manage your money effectively. Put away at least 20-50% of whatever you earn. This will teach self discipline.
  2. To build credit I would suggest starting with a secured credit card. This way you will not have the urge to spend money you technically do not have. A secured credit card only works if you put money onto it. So for example, if you put $200 on your credit card, its like borrowing money from yourself because you do have to pay it back.
  3. Pay your bills on time if you have the money. That dress can wait, I promise.
  4. Prioritize your responsibilities and by that I mean, Finances.
  5. Write down everything you purchase. Keeping track of where your money goes gives you a visual map of your wallet. This is important because by the end of the week if you realize you have a negative balance in your checking account, you can refer back to what you actually spent money on and see where the problem is.
  6. Save for major purchases. Do not blow your entire paycheck on one item just for the heck of it. Life does not work that way. You will end up shorting yourself in the long run. If you know you have your eye on a purchase that is pretty expensive, save up for it. This teaches you how to budget and not break the bank.

With these simple steps, by time graduation comes around you will be on your way to college with good credit. Just remember to continue these steps through college so you can maintain that score you worked hard to get.

Dating/ Relationships/ Love

pexels-photo-196031Okay, so why is this even a topic? Because love screws everything up in your young adult life. Lets face it, teens and even young adults fall hard when it comes to love. Dating never makes sense. On top of that, the first chance at love we find we literally dive in head first. This is so distracting that years are spent crying and wasted over someone who you won’t care for ten years from now. It is so normal to lose sight of your self when dating which is horrible in your early adult life. Our twenties are important in determining how life could possibly turn out for us. Addition to that, your twenties is the time to enjoy all that life has to offer. Who wants to waste that on someone who you’ll hate two years later? Now lets just make this clear, I am NOT saying to ignore dating and love completely. I am simply saying to be cautious of who you dedicate your time to. Will it be worth it in the end? If you are one of those people who can date and still get ahead in life, then go ahead and date on. I personally lost a lot of time that I cannot get back because of a relationship that went nowhere. I chose my relationship over college. Years later I wish I would have listened to my mother. Your young adult years should be all about you and figuring out what it is you want from life. Period. If you must date here are a few things that could help you in the long run…

  1. Do not lose sight of your goals. If the person you are dating is with you for the right reasons, he or she will support you regardless.
  2. Continue to socialize with your friends and network. A lot of times when people start to date, they forget about the people around them. Before you know it, you lost all of your friends and become consumed by your relationship. You stop living.
  3. Allow each other to miss one another. This helps to reduce arguments.
  4. Be Supportive and push each other to work on future goals. You can do it together.
  5. Do not rush into a relationship. Let it form naturally. Often times we jump right into a relationship for the sake of being with someone. This is not healthy.

Making Good & Wise Choices

Everything and I mean everything matters as an adult. Every decision can affect the next twenty years of your life. Decisions are nothing like high school decisions. Deciding what outfit to wear in your adult life will become the least of your worries. I won’t elaborate too much on this because honestly this is pretty self explanatory. Just know that as an adult the things that happen to you most likely stem from a choice you made at some point in your life, so make it count.

Careers

Let me just start by saying that it is completely okay to not know what you want to do right after high school into your early adulthood. Many industry professionals did not start off in the industry they ended up in. That is almost guaranteed. The moral of this is to say: IT IS OKAY to not know what you want to do. Figuring out what makes you tick is apart of adulthood. Seeing where life takes you is something you should experience first hand. Explore different career paths that interest you. You only have things to gain in doing so. (Hence the reason I stress not letting your love life get in the way)

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Choosing your Battles Wisely

Yes, this is something you learn with age. Getting older life is already full of decisions, puberty, acne, and everything else that arguing or getting upset over the small stuff literally becomes irrelevant. Who wants to argue and fight over who was staring at who? Who cares if your co-worker said something about you not wearing makeup? Being an adult you learn that unless something directly affects you its simply not worth it.

Sleep and Eating Properly

Often the two things that are overlooked and neglected. Nap time no longer exist and eating five meals a day just doesn’t happen. When life gets busy and duty calls, sleep and food becomes a treat almost. However, people fail to realize that it is important to be rested and fed. Over doing it for yourself makes nothing easy. Food and rest helps to fuel the body and your mind. Adulting already sucks, so why torture yourself?

Please share your thoughts below, I would love to hear what works for you.

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How to be a Badass 20 Something

Whoever said adulting would be fun fucking lied. Once you hit 20 the world looks at you like the adult you can’t relate to just yet. At this point in your life you are charged as an adult if you accidentally shoplift a pack of gum. (Do not shoplift kids and no I’ve never done so either) In your 20’s you are expected to know everything. To me it is the most hypocritical age ever. For example, in your 20’s you are expected to know what you want to do with your life, looked down upon if God-forbid you forget to pay a bill on time, drop out of college and so fourth. However in the same breath 20 somethings are constantly reminded that they cannot rent a car until 25, that they can’t get that job they’ve wanted because they are too young with no experience and so fourth. Like holy shit! can you cut us some slack?!

This post is for every 20 something who is constantly told one thing but is denied opportunity for whatever reason. Sure adulting sucks but who said being in your 20’s had to suck also? For every situation faced in your 20’s, you can either let it consume you or grab it by the heels and turn every situation into something you can control. The choice is yours ultimately but for those of you who want to be a badass 20 something (in the most legal way of course) then read on.

WHO CARES ABOUT WHAT HE/SHE THINKS YOU LOOK LIKE NAKED

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One of the best parts of growing up is gaining confidence that teenagers don’t usually have just yet. Other issues become more important like paying rent on time and remembering to change your oil every couple hundred miles. The responsibilities eventually outweighs the thought of “what he thinks of my body”. Honestly if you are dating someone who is so swallow that they only care about what you look like, then honey he or she isn’t for you. It’s sad to think that young women across the world today shame their bodies due to what society thinks is beautiful. Stop getting dressed in the bathroom of your apartment if your boyfriend/girlfriend is home. Stop having sex in the dark because you don’t want your stretch marks to show or your extra lovable pounds to be seen. Seriously self confidence is so attractive it’s like a drug. Not to mention they wouldn’t be with you if he/she felt you weren’t hot. Instead, buy that lingerie you’ve been seriously eyeing since last summer and rock the f*ck out of it for your partner. Do I need to continue?

LIVING ON YOUR OWN ISN’T THAT SCARY

Stop obsessing over bills because guess what? It is only the beginning and they are inevitable. The average person struggles and lives check to check at times. You’re in your 20’s so cut yourself some slack. Everyone has struggled and been in the same situation at some point. Being afraid to take big girl steps because you don’t want bills is a little unrealistic. Stop waiting on the “right” time because the right time never comes. Of course be smart about your decisions but taking risks, getting that studio apartment, working two jobs, and ignoring your alarm in the morning because that party just ended two hours ago isn’t that bad. Look at Sophia Amoruso for instance?! Point is to enjoy your days, create memories and learn to budget.

BUDGET GIRL, BUDGET

Although living paycheck to paycheck is incredibly common, be smart about the funds that you do have and budget. Rainy days happen and nothing sucks more than using your rent money to get your car after it’s been towed. Live within your means and cut cost wherever you can afford to do so. Netflix and Hulu have low monthly cost for TV shows and movies at your convenience. Ditch cable until you can afford it comfortably and stash away that extra hundred dollars a month that would have been spent on cable.  Are you really home that often to watch cable anyways? Meal prep lunch for work instead of buying food every day. Sure that Panera sandwich sounds delicious, but so does that spinach dip you made for lunch. Before you know it, that extra fifty dollars that you’ve saved all week from not eating out makes your savings look AH-MAZING!

GO FOR THAT JOB

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So what if you’re in your 20’s with little to no experience. If you want that corporate job go for it. Write a professional resume and fill it with things that make you a perfect fit. All you need is the chance to be interviewed and at that point go in with confidence and know your shit. If you are applying to a company that has been around for years, talk about their success and how much you want to be apart of it. Showing that you’ve done your research is impressive. Look the part and go for it. What do you have to lose? At the very least you just gained experience.

CHANGE IS NEVER A BAD IDEA 

Your only obligation in your 20’s is to experience life to the fullest. Taking risks and being open to change is key. Nothing will ever stay the same and quite frankly, thank God. If moving across the country is something you want to do, then do it. Change helps with self growth (more on self growth here) and being open to change provides endless opportunities. Talk to people you don’t necessarily know at an event or at work, promote yourself and take that risk.

EMBRACE YOUR SEXY

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You won’t be wrinkle free forever and in your 20’s your skin and everything else is in top shape. Take advantage of this time in your life. Waking up ten minutes earlier to do your hair or a face mask is well worth it. If you feel good throughout the day you perform better and those are facts.

CHANGE A FUCKING TIRE

If you can’t change a tire, you should learn. Being a young adult learning to get down and dirty helps you. No one wants to be a damsel in distress, relying on someone to do the dirty work for you is a joke when you could have changed that tire over an hour ago and continued about your night. Changing your tire is not the only thing that falls under this category. As a young adult, it is crucial that you know how to take care of yourself for multiple reasons. Yes, no one wants to get down and dirty when someone else can do it for you, but knowing how to do something and knowing that you could do it if you had to feels powerful.

LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS

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Cliche i know but let’s face it, it’s important. Some of the best advice I’ve ever received in my life has come from people twice my age. Often times people think that because times are different than how they use to be that your elders advice are invalid. That is a bunch of baloney if you ask me. No one has dealt with harder times than those who had to work for every single dollar that they have today. Just because your grandmother doesn’t know how to operate your ever changing iPhone, doesn’t mean she hasn’t been where you are today. Being a badass, smart and independent 20 something year old is about knowledge as well as tricks and trades. They only want the best for you so when they say it, believe it.

SHADY PEOPLE EXIST

Deal with it honey because that will never change. High school pettiness and adult pettiness is completely different and sadly still exist. In high school people hated you because you dated the star football player or because you didn’t give a f*ck about what people thought about you. The beautiful thing about high school pettiness is that you knew when someone didn’t like you because no one cared enough to hide it. Adult pettiness on the other hand is deeper and actually can backfire on you if handled like you would in high school. Sadly people at work won’t like you because you got a promotion that they’ve wanted forever or friends become jealous because you’re doing pretty decent with your life. Fighting puts you in jail because you are now considered an adult and to top it off, you lose everything you’ve worked hard for. Instead, smile and keep your personal life to yourself and do not allow your coworkers to rob you of your hard work. People want to see you fail so make them your motivation.

Being a badass 20 something starts with believing that the world is yours. Anything is possible if you believe it and go after it. Being a badass is about being ahead of the game and always sharp.

Comment below something that makes you feel like a badass 20 something! 

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Quick Guide: Summer Detox for your Mind

 

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With the summer approaching and your bucket list growing longer, tackling the summer with a fresh mind is extremely refreshing and well needed. If you are anything like me, after a long and snow-filled winter you are burnt out and ready to let the summer have it’s way with you. However not so fast friends!

What is detox? How can you detox your mind? How much does it cost?

For starters detoxing is a period of time and/or a process where a person rids the body of toxins. Detoxing does not only pertain to your body but can pertain to anything in your life that you feel like cleansing. The best part about detoxing your mind? It costs absolutely nothing.

Below I have a quick guide that helps you to get your mind right for the summer and it’s easier than you think.

First things first…

 

Eliminate toxic thoughts.

This means to get rid of all the thoughts that hinder you from moving forward. Summer is approaching, you can do anything you want to.

Stop Stressing.

Girl, it’s bad for you. Do you want wrinkles in your 20’s? I know me telling you not to stress is easier said than done, but it can be done. Most of the time we stress over money, relationships, school, etc. Whatever the reason may be tackle it one step at a time. If something happens that is out of your control then why continue to stress over it? Focus on what can be done to make the situation better or look forward to positive things that are coming your way.

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Rest your mind. 

One of the oldest tricks in the book! Getting up to 7-8 hours of sleep a night can tremendously improve your state of mind. You wake up feeling ready to tackle the day and allows you to focus more.

Rebuild your inner circle.

The friends you keep impacts your life in more ways than you may realize. A lot of times we become so consumed with the lives of the people around us that stress levels are increased. Also, surround yourself with people who live the life you want and are doing the things that you want to do. Your friends can often influence your moods. Chose wisely.

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Rebuild your self esteem.

Your self esteem pretty much reflects how you feel about yourself. Often your mind controls the way you feel about yourself. So in order to start fresh, it is imperative that you change your outlook about yourself. Feel good and embrace it.

Fix your attitude. 

Smile if something rubs you the wrong way and change your approach to certain situations.

Stay Hydrated.

Drinking lots of water fuels your body with the energy it needs. It also helps the blood to circulate throughout your body. A hydrated mind thinks much more clearer!

Breathe.

Taking a deep breath and taking a step back to analyze situations, life, etc helps to reduce stress levels and provides better outcomes.

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This quick and easy to follow guide is something that has worked for me and hoping you all find it helpful.

 

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